Wild at Heart
10.16.06 (6:15 pm) [edit]
I should have known I wasn't going to like this. I mean, I love David Lynch. I even enjoyed Dune. But I loathe Nicolas Cage. I think he's a bad actor. He's never interesting. He drags movies that could have been good to their knees. (See: Adaptation.) Not only is he one note, that note is lumpy and boring. Keanu Reeves' one role of confused stoner is a lot better than Cage's one role of boring douche bag.
But let me be fair. I've enjoyed movies with actors I totally hate. I can't stand Orlando Bloom, but I loved the original Pirates of the Caribbean. I used to hate Jimmy Stewart because of his sappy role in It's a Wonderful Life and today Vertigo is one of my favorite films. I decided to try it anyway. I mean, I love David Lynch and I thought Laura Dern was really endearing in Blue Velvet and grounded Jurassic Park with some much needed humanity. So I took a risk. I spent four dollars on a used VHS copy at Rasputin.
Man. Big mistake.
Even Willem Dafoe couldn't save this movie!
Sailor is a career criminal with a thing for Elvis. He's also played by Nicolas Cage, but I'm trying not to hold that against him. What I can hold against him is his marble-mouthed impersonation of Elvis that lasts the entire film. Soooo annoying. Also, Sailor is a really stupid name.
He's in love with Lula, a broad stereotype of a wild southern gal. Poor Laura Dern. This was almost a career-sinker for her.
Lula's momma doesn't approve none of her relationship with Sailor, partly because he snubbed her super creepy advances, and also because he was the getaway driver when she and her gangster boyfriend set Lula's daddy on fire. He knows too much, he won't sleep with her, and he's in a relationship with her daughter. Time to hire a hitman!
So far so good. Well, I mean, so far, so screwed up, which is pretty normal for Lynch. A botched murder attempt and a few years in jail for manslaughter later, Sailor is a free man again. He and Lula meet up for the first of many sexual encounters that border on unintentional humor. Then they decide the best way to get away from momma is to hop into a convertible and embark on the great American road trip! This is also where the entire movie falls apart.
Their destination is Los Angeles. Why? Uh. Who knows? They drive and they drive and they drive. The stop at some hotels and have some more sex, get a heavy metal band to play an Elvis song and let Sailor sing it, and a bunch of other tiresome crap and constant, totally meaningless references to The Wizard of Oz. Meanwhile, momma hunts them down using her evil gangster contacts and a hapless P.I., though for some reason the gangsters kill him. And then there's some crap about Isabella Rossellini as a terrible peroxide blonde with huge scary black eyebrows that doesn't make any sense or go anywhere interesting and then Sherilyn Fenn (the sexy Audrey from Twin Peaks) bleeds to death following a car crash while Sailor and Lula stand around uselessly. Why? Uh...
Soon enough Sailor and Lula run out of money in some shit town in Texas and Lula announces that she's pregnant. Willem Dafoe shows up with some scary teeth and a cowboy hat. Oh ho, he's the hitman sent by momma! He molests Lula (who doesn't bother to tell Sailor about it) and then convinces Sailor to join him on an ill-advised robbery. Dafoe tries to double cross him, a cop shows up, Dafoe's head explodes, Sailor goes back to jail and I'm so bored I'm thinking about turning the movie off. I've never turned off a David Lynch movie before it was over.
Six years later, Sailor gets out of jail and immediately tries to walk out on Lula and their son Pace (no doubt named after the picante sauce) until a bunch of random thugs kick his ass and he hallucinates about Glenda The Good Witch, who convinces him to go back to Lula. The end.
I was so glad when it was over. I'm trying not to be too hard on this movie, because it's not terrible, it's just kind of pointless. It doesn't have anything to say about anyone or anything, the themes of Elvis and The Wizard of Oz are just random and unconnected, and the only characters that are anything more than the barest of sketches are Sailor and Luna, the generic crazy southern stereotypes.
This movie seems to get okay reviews, but I just don't see it. None of Lynch's typical charm is here, and his usual clever dialogue is replaced by muttered gibberish.
Maybe the problem here is that Lynch should just not be adapting books into movies. Dune veered wildly off course about half way through and I just can't recommend Wild at Heart.
Many people complain that Lynch's work is just weird for weird's sake. I disagree. I think his off kilter, dream-like sensibilities are fascinating. Unfortunately, Wild at Heart isn't like that. It's just a generic road movie starring some southern stereotypes with some random crap stuck in for no apparent reason. What's missing is a lot of charm and the dream logic that usually holds his films together.
This movie is missing any thematic cohesion, and by the fourth time Lula and Sailor have sex you'll be checking your watch.